I’ve previously spoken quite a lot on here about body confidence and how the so called perfect body doesn’t exist; the responses were so lovely and inspiring. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty rotten about the way I look and the numbers I see on the scales located on our black and white checkered tiled floor in my newly decorated bathroom and I’m beginning to resent the way I look in the mirror. So I guess this is me trying to come to terms with my recent weight gain.
I’ve always found it difficult sticking or even setting new yeas resolutions. I had a bit of a plan at the beginning of the year; you know, the fitness-related-weightloss-get-your-shit-together type of things, so far it hasn’t worked out for me. Apparently a new year means a fresh start, at least that’s what we’re told. We all head into it with motivation and readiness but in the grand scheme of things, I think these expectations are putting more and more unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Anyway, after a year abroad and a relaxed Christmas at home, I’ve made it known to myself and anyone who takes notice of this blog that I’m currently struggling more than ever to find my purpose.
I don’t know who or what I want to be. I recently published a diary entry over on here last week: you can read that here – so the fact that I’m completely and utterly lost right now most likely won’t be a surprise to anyone who reads my content. But bare with me.
I turn 24 in June, by now I thought I’d have my shit together; how wrong was I. Seeing people my age, whether it being close friends, family or my partner doing so well, I find it difficult to comprehend that I’m still stuck in a bubble I simply cannot burst and haven’t been able to since I was around eighteen.
As I woke up to a cold and misty morning, I couldn’t wait to head outside with my camera. I haven’t used my new camera since coming back from Australia so the excitement of a foggy Saturday morning well and truly thrilled me. Rivington is lovely. Full of trees and views which provided the perfect winter setting for me and my camera. The fog was heavy as it filled the burnt hills in front of us and the sharp wind at the peak made things difficult to bare – but it was worth it.